Ultraviolet.

"Don't let someone be a priority in your life when you are still an option in their life."

Quoted from a quote TC found. I've finished what's important of my assignments with a week left of the holidays. I'm going to see the team later, after a month. And I've been selected to be an orientation leader for class of 2012 :) Only 2 of us were picked, Pei Shan and I. I think it's gonna be a little crowded in school tomorrow, with people not expecting others there. I'm thinking of bringing them donuts but I'm broke. Oh and Rooney scored :) Best for his sister-in-law?

I feel like I should live in Jakarta, or Uban. I love the people there, and to live among them would be simply amazing because they're the most "peramah" and friendly people. Speaking of, Debby hasn't replied me. Honestly, she didn't come off as rich, but her wealth, whoa! See, they're modest. Sinetrons are teaching the wrong stuff. And the guys can maintain eye-contact for long and I'll end up breaking it.

I watch Gossip Girl Season 3 in 3 days. And I cried and laughed and screamed to myself in the cold, dark room with the small screen. What with Olivia and Tripp's existence, Blair's misconception, and Nate's shifted attraction, it's definitely a must-watch. And it's a bitter sweet closure for the season with Serena finally learning from her mistakes and realising the one who truly cared for her, Blair and Chuck getting their priorities right and learning that trust is indeed crucial and must not be trifled with, Dan's luck with the ladies ending him up alone, and Jenny and Eric's never-ending warfare closes with a truce, honesty between Lily and Rufus still foggy.

What a bang to end 2009 and lay out the carpet to bring in 2010. What will this new year bring?

Think before you act.

I could've died when I read the message. Who sends a text to inform a death? So I thought Didit's mom had died and the world just collapsed. Rara's only 3 and Didit's still young to bear the burden of being motherless. And his dad... And there was a language barrier between Wulan and her mom and I so I didn't ask more. Thank goodness his mom's safe and sound. But I'm sorry that his grandma passed away. I never met her.


We went out for dinner in unbuttoned shirts and jeans. Granted, people stared, but I guess no one wears it here. Moral lesson today, think before you act, which can be implied on many that has happened today; like dancing to Janet Jackson when Ina's daughters were watching, adjusting your tank top ungracefully under the watchful guys of single men in their 20s, and of course, assuming someone's death without confirmation.


Oh, this post was supposed to be a few months back, December 2009 I think. It was saved under drafts, somehow.

Miss. Love. Mystification.

I saw lalang today. I thought of Didit. I thought of how he was with kids; Rara or Putra. I remember he'd make a great husband, father. I miss him. I miss how he looked when he just woke up. I miss his laugh when he told me there was powder on my pants. I miss hearing him call me. I miss hearing my name from Lina and Nurbilah. I miss waking up to Ella complaining about my kicking. I miss. I miss. I miss. I love. I love. I loved?

Water Polo guys came back today to the roaring cheers from their orange fans. That’s how it is with champions. When your father’s Caucasian and your mother’s Chinese, you come out with slit eyes, prominent nose and Caucasian skin. You can either be beautiful or plan weird. In his case, beautiful.

I watched High School Musical Summer Celebration with my sister after dinner at McDonald's. Who knew you could run into many acquaintances in the airport? I took the skytrain 3 times. We got treated to supper.

I thought I knew what I was doing with my life, but now I don't. I see people in bliss. I want that. I see people bearing hatred. I don't. I want to be happy but I don't want to be tied down. I want to get a great guy and be forever happy but that won't happen will it? I keep debating; Guy A: Good looks, humour, caring, generous, loving, kind. Guy B: Smart, and everything Guy A has except good looks, but I can talk to him and not have my mind blown away at the sight of him. I tried Guy A but I was too afraid and I pushed him away. So far. Too far. Can't I have a combination of both? That's not how the universe works does it?

Tuesday seemed funny.

I woke up at 11 to my dad rummaging through my mess for his charger that I stole. I showered for a long time and made Flora wait for my reply. There's a text from her every morning whenever I get up. She doesn't seem to sleep. She's awake when I sahur, and she's awake when I get up, though I do wake up late. People are lucky I'm behind a closed door when I get up cause I'm super cranky when I get up.

I IM-ed Anna. She didn't know if I was single, on Facebook, so I decided to tease her. Poor thing. I tried to do Geography but did a miserly part of it. And I talked to Sha instead, who somehow likes to see my via webcam. Haley made me sit through crime shows with her. 2 hours of CSI, she won't be able to sleep. I got bored and lapped my laptop again. I googled friends and then Josh. And I started squealing. See, since July when Haley and I spotted this hot guy at a hotel reception at Hilton, I've been hoping to see him again. We caught part of his name, Bentley. Flora says it's a car. Whatever, he's hot; that's all that matters. But, the catch is that he's Josh's age, a year younger than I am. Sadly.

So I googled Josh and found a list of names from the hotel reception. Haley saw it too and we were frantically searching for him. And we found him :) Not that I'm a stalker but he's a swimmer, Christian at Holy Trinity Church. Wow. Why did he have to be so young? I think he's in Sports School. I finally slept at midnight and was so groggy when my mom woke me up for sahur. She opened my door and stayed there, whispering my name again and again. Freaky, I thought I was dreaming. Finally when she didn't stop, I got up and she said she needed help cause her head was spinning.

I'm new to this so go easy on me. I don't think anyone would read but whatever. I bore others with my tales so both parties win here :D