Miss. Love. Mystification.

I saw lalang today. I thought of Didit. I thought of how he was with kids; Rara or Putra. I remember he'd make a great husband, father. I miss him. I miss how he looked when he just woke up. I miss his laugh when he told me there was powder on my pants. I miss hearing him call me. I miss hearing my name from Lina and Nurbilah. I miss waking up to Ella complaining about my kicking. I miss. I miss. I miss. I love. I love. I loved?

Water Polo guys came back today to the roaring cheers from their orange fans. That’s how it is with champions. When your father’s Caucasian and your mother’s Chinese, you come out with slit eyes, prominent nose and Caucasian skin. You can either be beautiful or plan weird. In his case, beautiful.

I watched High School Musical Summer Celebration with my sister after dinner at McDonald's. Who knew you could run into many acquaintances in the airport? I took the skytrain 3 times. We got treated to supper.

I thought I knew what I was doing with my life, but now I don't. I see people in bliss. I want that. I see people bearing hatred. I don't. I want to be happy but I don't want to be tied down. I want to get a great guy and be forever happy but that won't happen will it? I keep debating; Guy A: Good looks, humour, caring, generous, loving, kind. Guy B: Smart, and everything Guy A has except good looks, but I can talk to him and not have my mind blown away at the sight of him. I tried Guy A but I was too afraid and I pushed him away. So far. Too far. Can't I have a combination of both? That's not how the universe works does it?